So very strange

two days before payday and I’m so broke it is not even funny. But here’s the strange thing. I went on eBay to kill time and see what there is, and the crazy thing is, I didn’t know what to search for. I started realize that I kinda have what I need, barring a  dollars or a boat or house, that kind of thing. I kinda realized as I was searching for “stuff “and that I sort of don’t really need anything, I kinda have what I need right now. My car started, I have a job, I was able to go to McDonald’s and get breakfast, my car has no heat but it was bearable and there is just enough to keep the windows clear, and it was sort of refreshing, plus I got $7 of gas. And when I get paid tomorrow I’ll have half the rent. Over all I could not for the life of me think of something else I needed in this moment. Perhaps the Buddhists were right, desiring is the root of all suffering. I don’t desire a coffee cause I had enough to get one, and I now have enough McDonald’s stickers to get a free one, I have some smokes left to get through, so I don’t desire a smoke. Over all, all my basic needs are met. I don’t really desire or crave anything, so I can’t say with a straight face that I’m suffering. Sure I’d like a new car and my own house and some cash. But just searching eBay made me see that at this exact moment in time…I’m good. How freaking bizarre is that? Now that I realize God has given me just what I need, I realize that right now I have a choice. I  can realize that in this moment I’m blessed or if I choose let longing and desire take me over, in which case, I just increase my own suffering. The trick is not to desire anything. And see the huge blessings in the small things that are normally over looked, a place to stay, a warm bed, a car that started, being able to go out and have a cheap but nice breakfast, a coffee, and some smokes. Hahaha, it doesn’t get much better than this. Dam that’s so messed up, I can’t help but laugh to myself.


My day

My day started with me going out to start my car, and finding that my key fob would not open the door, very handy for stopping criminals.. but it’s my car, how could it do this to me? So I’m thinking it needs a new battery. So I call a friend, actually my only friend, actually more like an aquentance. She said it could be a dead car battery, I said no, I mean that just wouldn’t make sense, what if I wanted to get into my car even with a dead battery the fob should work. She said maybe the fob is cold. I asked her for a ride to the battery place to get a fob battery, this was nessary because someone left the door open in the Artic and it’s 1000000 degrees below in Canada because of it, and of course my gloves and touque is in my safely locked car, along with my trickle charger, and it’s to far to walk, being as it’s 1000000 degrees below, because someone in the artic left a door open. she said yes and was super nice about it, (thank you Grace). So I go get new batterys put in $20.00. I come back and it still won’t work. So now I have to call a tow truck to open my car. $45.00. He gets the door open and I now find the car is dead like a frozen fart on a popsicle stick, there goes another $45.00. For a boost, Now I need a new cord to plug it in$17.00 and gasoline $10.00. And as I’m driving back from the gas station, the heater quits and my feet and hands are like blocks of ice even with the gloves I now have access to. And as I’m driving along just throwing my cash out the window, the thought occurred to me, I just want to be in my warm expensive room with a drink, so yes, yes, I buy a $7-9 bottle of Appleton Estate rum. And as I park and plug in, I can bearly feel my fingers or toes, and the only thing keeping me alive and moving at this point is the thought of a warm bed and a shot of rum. But you know what, I lived to tell the tail and I’m in a warm bed with my rum, broke but happy. She said it was a frozen car and dead car battery, but oh no, am I about to listen, hell no, I’m a manly man, I’m a security guard. Maybe next time I’ll listen and while I’m at it i think I’ll write an angry letter to the people of the Artic and tell them to keep that dam door closed.


F0062796-B7BF-4EC1-8417-31B21F8AD036I’ve been thinking, yah I know, you’re saying, he’s got his tinfoil hat on again. But anyway, here goes. Why don’t people use things like Canadian tire money and McDonald’s coffee stickers like currency. Crazy right, but think about it, you go to a fast food restaurant, let’s say smittys. And you tip the waiter, but you really like the service, so why not drop in Canadian tire cash or a few McDonald’s stickers for coffee. Yes I know all the arguments why you’d think that’s not a good idea, but it’s kinda ment in the same mind as a stocking stuffer at Xmas. Just a little unusual and possibly useful extra. Even a scratch ticket would work, with both people signing it of course (I’m not about to get away a million actual dollars no matter how good the service) 🙂 but I would split. And instead of McDonald’s having you collect 7stickers for a free coffee, why don’t they assign each sticker a value. Think of it, you’re choking for a Ronny java, and your short 30 cents, but you have 3stickers, well there you go, bobs your uncle, you have enough for that sweet black life sustaining nectar, and people can actually talk to you again, without worrying about getting a nose bit of.

Smoking vs alcohol

I have a theory, as to why in my opinion smoking is more addicting than alcohol. Alcohol is all over the map in so far as emotional response is concerned, it’s actually exhausting. One moment your happy then sad then mad and so on. You never escape your worries, as they are just replaced by others, such as loosening your driving license or ending up in jail or just embarrassing yourself and so on. The high is to unpredictable and even on its best day, you will usually have a bad sleep. Smoking on the other hand, is consistent and gives a host of immediate reward, for example, you have to leave your immediate work environment,  to be distracted by a new environment standing outside, you became more social, with the people standing around outside with you and as a result your distracted from your problems, you get fresh air standing outside, and you are reminded to focus on your breathing almost like a meditation, with every exhale you blow your problems away, the rewards are numerous and now with out drastic consequences. Just a thought.